David Brooks argues that the most essential human skill, truly seeing and understanding others, is becoming a lost art. Drawing on psychology, philosophy, and years of reporting, he explores how curiosity, presence, and generous attention allow us to illuminate rather than diminish the people around us. Brooks contrasts the behaviors of Diminishers, who flatten others into stereotypes, with Illuminators, who make people feel known, valued, and expanded. Through vivid stories and practical guidance, he shows how better conversations, deeper listening, and intentional empathy can transform relationships at home, at work, and in our communities. How to Know a Person is both a call to moral imagination and a handbook for building stronger human connections, reminding us that understanding others is not just a social nicety but a foundational act of leadership, compassion, and citizenship.
"It opened my eyes to how I was unintentionally giving off a ‘don’t connect with me’ vibe, and taught me how to build real conversations, not just LinkedIn connections”.